The agent had recognized that one of her skills was organization. She was really good at making sure all the details in her contracts were managed. Sometimes she has come across as tentative because she has needed all the the information so that she can "own" the process and make it a success.
This drive for excellence wasn't what it seemed though. Her attitude wasn't "I'm professional", it was fear of failure. Her past had been ruled by people who questioned her judgement and undermined her decisions. There's no relief, even in success.
My direction in life has led me down different paths. I've thought about the self-confidence that I have and from whence it came. There have been times in my life where I was left to grow on my own and there have been mentors along the way as well. What did the leaders in my life do to instill confidence?
Here's an anecdote that I hope you'll find valuable. It took place while I was in the army and I'd like to give the NCO credit by name but I don't see him on social networking sites. I'll give him his privacy until I know otherwise. In deference to him and to Kipling, I'll call him "Sergeant Whatisname." It takes a bit of background for this to develop--for this I beg your patience!
I was eighteen and a few months out of basic training. The army had seen fit to install me in Monterey, California for some language training. Mixed in with us "newbies" were soldiers who had seasoning.
These were the people we looked up to. They had "been there, done that." They were put in charge of us and made sure we met army standards. This included "PT" or physical training.
A few of us were struggling with the physical part of army life. Many had joined in order to pay off college loans or make ends meet. Their prior life hadn't given them the physical fitness or discipline to do what they now required. Running was an issue those first few months on the hills of Monterey.
Luckily, I could run. I was able to help a few around me. That's when I got picked up to help with the remedial runs. Sergeant Whatisname grabbed me and we started a nice 3 mile run with 7 or 8 people. They started straggling a third of the way through the run. Sergeant Whatisname told me to watch over the last three stragglers.
We continued to run, but Sergeant Whatisname was out of sight. One of my stragglers was starting to flag--she couldn't control her breathing or her rhythm well. What should I do? We were only halfway through the run.
I turned the group around. This really bothered me because I was a private, an E-2. I could imagine getting reamed by Sergeant Whatisname for thinking on my own. There were many times in basic training where the words "I just thought" led to push ups and the tender attentions of a drill sergeant!
I had everyone cool down and stretch when we got back and then I told them they could go. I didn't want to get chewed on in front of an audience. I waited and stewed.
Sergeant Whatisname got back with his group and asked if everyone was alright. I told him what had happened and what I did. I ended by saying I didn't know if what I did was right.
That's when Sergeant Whatisname gave me a big lesson in leadership. He told me that there had been no-one else around to ask and that I had made the decision to the best of my ability. He told me that no-one should be judged for that.
The story may not seem to be big to you. Let me ask you this: Do you give those around you the same benefit? Sergeant Whatisname could have led me by fear but instead gained my respect by helping me grow.
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